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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

My New Office & The Sad Future

There's only one thing I can brag about since my move to North Carolina.
My pimp-ass office.
It's huge. (picture below)
It makes me feel important.

However, I was told that we will be moving down to the third floor in a month.
I received a tour and it looks like everyone is going to downgrade.
My boss is going to have a small office (he will be pissed).
I may have to move to a small window-less office or even (God forbid) share an office.

This is how Jinna & I feel.

Me: If I have to share an office with a annoying girl, i'm going to cry then kill myself.
Pretty excessive already, but Jinna tops it off by..
Jinna: or gouge her eyes out.

I'm going to enjoy my office while I still have it.
Napping under the desk will be an option.

MTV Cribs - Pimp Office Edition

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My dad is a dork & he loves me

I have finally moved to North Carolina.
It's almost surreal to me.
Today was my first day in the office (Huge with 2 windows).
Even though I miss the city tremendously and want to go back, I need to suck it up.
This is about my career.

After complaining to my father, he remembers a student he used to have at his lab who is currently a medical student at Duke.
Therefore, he took it upon himself to write him an email while CCing me.

Hi, Tr****,

How is it going?

My daughter is just relocated to NC this week. She knows nobody there.

Her phone: 240-*******

Jane, T*****’s number: (339) ***-****

Not only do I feel depressed about leaving the city, I now also feel like the #1 loser.
Thanks Dad, I love you too.

Yes, I know


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Menu 2009

I am in charge of Thanksgiving dinner every year.
Last year, I started planning a month in advance. typical of me.
This year with the move to NC and work hecticalities, I am left with today and tomorrow.

I have decided to serve faux turkey this year. as a secret!

Gardein faux turkey roast with cranberry mushroom stuffing.
Spinach Gruyere Cheese Puff Pastry
Green Bean Mushroom Casserole
Marinated Butternut Squash
Bacon Brussel Sprouts
Mashed Ginger Yam Pastry Cups
Jalapeno-Cilantro Mashed Potato & Beets

Stay Tuned For Pictures!

"gobble gobble, because i am still alive!"


Friday, September 4, 2009

Wedding Crashers

Inspired by the Hollywood blockbuster hit.

Jinna and I recently joined, because we are getting sick and tired of going to the same dive bar every weekend.

I came across this.
A wedding reception invitation from two people I've never met.

Via gchat...

Me: We need to crash their wedding.
Jinna: We should SOOOOO crash it.
Jinna: wait, does this mean we are losers?
Me: uhm, did Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn look like losers?
Me: I didn't think so.

We are so crashing it.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wanted: Podophilist [Foot Fetishist]

In the car with my best friends...

Janet: Did you guys read about the guy with the foot fetish on craigslist?
Jinna & Me:
Janet: ...HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA..laughing to herself.
Me: How does a foot fetish work?
Jinna: You know, they just like to lick it and rub it and stuff.
Me: Do they use it as a penis?
Janet & Jinna: .....what...HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!
5 minutes later...

Celebrities with Podophilia:
Britney Spears
Tommy Lee
Marilyn Monroe
Elvis Presley
Rosie O'Donnell [Let's not think about that]
Jack Black

Well, do you use it as a penis?
Thanks in advance.

That's some O'Donnell shit right there.
Lesbionic Pedophilia

Friday, August 28, 2009

Highest Unemployment Rate, MY ASS.

What an insensitive post.
I agree.
It's my blog, so SUCK IT.
Now, I will add a cute emoticon to balance out the vulgarity. ^o^

Being a crazy busy body with a full-time job and going to school, I decided to get a part-time job.
I craiglist shopped and found some amazingly popular places in DC.
Took a half day and went around there and applied for four places.

1. Busboy and Poets - VERY popular & famous
They were having a open house. I completed the application and the worksheet test that came with the application. Yes, there was a worksheet test that consisted of wine/alcohol and basic server etiquette knowledge. I was interviewed by the spanish Maurice. We chatted about the food network, going green and why I deserved to work there. Got a call yesterday for a second interview. Went in today and I'm hired. Orientation is on Monday, 4:30PM. Bring two forms of ID and dress "cute".

2. Blackfinn American Saloon - Fancy bar and grill.
I went in there, the place wasn't open but I could tell they were already doing training for hired servers and bartenders. I filled out an application, chatted with the operating partner for literally 5 mins. He then said, "Alright! Well, come over to this table and we can sign your life away." That was it, I had a job. A job that will pay pretty well, esp being right down in the smack of downtown DC.

3. Creme Cafe - VERY popular
I went in for an application along with 20 others. I was the first one to talk to the general manager, where he simply said that today was just to put a face to a name and that people will be called for an interview. We chatted 3-5 minutes, he told me about how booming the neighbourhood is becoming. I was called today and have an interview tomorrow at 5:15PM.

4. Masa14 - Will be amazing.
Grand opening is at the end of September. The venue is no where close to being done. It is a collaboration project between two very well known chef in Washington DC; Richard Sandoval of Zengo and Kaz Okochi of Kaz Sushi Bistro. It will be posh. It will be expensive. I went in for an application. Had a 2 minutes chat, and was told that interviews will be held next week. Hopefully I'll get a call.

I've concluded that people are just lazy.
Take a half day (or even a full day considering you are unemployed), walk around your city/town and find a job.
It's not hard.
I had found at least three (potentially 4).

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Little Boy Tendencies

Alright, before you freak out and report me to,

I was talking to one of my very few best girlfriends today and we reminisced our trip to OBX last year, only to list out all the things I've done that resembled a 9 year old boy.

1. I like to sleep really close to people and put my legs on others next to me.
2. I wake up obscenely early in the morning to play Pokemon Diamond on my Nintendo DS Lite; with the background music on to annoy the sleeping ones.
3. I brought in a dead crab, that ended up rotting by the bed side table and stunk up the whole room. Everyone febrezed every 5 minutes, and had no idea until the last day. I forgot about it.
4. I like to wake people up really early in the morning just for fun.
5. I am really hypered before bed.
6. I run from old, creepy looking people in the dark, literally.

Being an early 20s female, I'd say that these characteristics are unfortunately inappropriate.

Never google "Little Boys" like I did for this picture.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Wolf-Men Packs

You know when you are driving alone in the highway and all of a sudden a group of cars passes you?
It's never one car at a time.
That's how it is with boys too.
One day, you are completely alone.
The next day, you have 5 wolves breathing down your neck.

The story is this:
I've been applying to part-time server jobs around the area, in the hopes of making some extra dough before I have to start paying for mortgage.
While revising my resume (because I doubt that the restaurant manager cares if I know how to program a data analysis software), I came across a road block.
I want to write that I was the only waitress for the entire restaurant on weekend nights that's around 70 people capacity.
In customer service lingo, I had no idea how to express it.
So, I went through my resources and contacted ID03 (The rebound waiter).
After a few texted back and forth, he said:"Let me know when you have time, so we can get dinner or something."
....SAY WHAT? I thought I put him in the friendzone and that sounded like a out-of-friendzone date.

"How about in two weeks?"
"Oh, wow you must be busy. I was thinking about tomorrow or something."
"ohh..haha..well let me know when you are still interested in two weeks!"
phew. Didn't get a response. I think he got the message.

THEN OUT OF THE BLUE (a ba di da ba die da ba di da ba die)
ID02 texted me with a simple "hello".
Hello it indeed was, especially since I have already informed him that I want to be just friends and that we haven't spoken for two weeks.
I responded with a simpler "hi".
He just wanted to know how I was doing.
I told him I was doing fine.
Then he asked "When do you want to get food?"
wait..I never said I ever wanted to get food..
I used my "In two weeks?"
He said "OK"
shucks! seriously?! idiot.
Now I have to cancel Friday's "date" and give him the "I just want to be friends" talk...again.

Do you think that they planned this together just to make my life miserable?!(overdramatization).

I smell fresh meat. Yum.
outback steak house Tuesday?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A Place I Call My Own, Literally, Hopefully.

I recently put down an offer on a condo.
Well, more like 5 long weeks ago.
At the age of 22, I'd say that's pretty good.

It was a short sale, so the bank is taking their sweet ass time with the third party approval.
The bank is always money hungry and is never considerate of the people like me;
The type who can not stand living with her parents any longer and is staying at her office for 10+ hrs a day for the sole purpose of avoidance.

I've already reserved furniture at we put it all together, to save you more at The Room Store.
Gone to home depot and came back with 200 paint chip samples.
Read numerous blogs about interior design and space efficiency.

At Design*Sponge, they have a section called "before & after".
This is where people take crap and turn it into a piece of contemporary home design art.


I got on craigslist and picked up the first free piece of furniture I found.
A wall shelf.
I even asked ID04 who lives 20 miles away, but drives a mini-van to accompany me for the pick-up.
I apologize to ID04, because the shelf was definitely smaller than I had imagined, and it could have easily fitted in my sedan trunk.

Anyway, here's the piece of ugly duckling that I will be transforming into a beautiful swan.

Stay tune for the results.
I'm open for any suggestions?

Monday, August 17, 2009

ID05: Drunk Dial Induced Trauma

I hate to put this guy under a ID number, but he deserves it.

At 3am, Saturday morning, I receive a phone call.
Unfortunately, my phone was not on silent and it started ringing.
Seeing his name on the caller ID, confused, but too tired to care, I ignored it.
After pressing the ignore button, I see a new text.
It reads: "Dude, I'm getting the best hangjob right now..Omg"

Imagine you being half asleep, and getting this text from one of your guy friends.
Disturbed? You bet.
He calls again, and I decided to pick up.

"dude, what's going on?"
"are you drunk?" (duh)
"i..think so.."
"are you on drugs?"
"where are you?!"
" my room.."
"do you have a girl there?"
"...yeah..she's in the you have anything you want to say?"
" you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend and freak out so she will leave?"
"...i don't know..........."
"uh what do you want me to do?"
"uh..nothing! nothing!"

For the rest of the night, I flipped and turned on my bed, traumatized.
Of course, I receive a follow-up text:
" Round 2...Wanna join next time? This girl wants to have a threesome. Free tomorrow night?"

I texted him back the next morning.
"I hope you regret living your life, you piece of sh*t"

Friday, August 14, 2009

ID04: My Gay Soul-Mate

I have three soul mates.
Two girls.
One Boy.

I am 99% sure we are soul mates. He is too.
Soul mates in the sense that we understand each other 110%, we know what each other is thinking 109% of the time, we balance each other out perfectly 102% of the time.

We used to date for 2.5 years in College.
I was his first girlfriend, he was my third.
We ended due to an major external barrier; his mother.

After meeting his mother once over dinner, she decided that we were not good for each other and caused the destruction of the perfect relationship.

He was the first person I was maturely in love with, and vice versa.

It's been almost another 2.5 years since the break up and we have become best friends.
No, I have no romantic feelings toward him whatsoever.
We don't cross the line.
We talk on the phone about everything and anything, literally.
He asked me about anal bleaching a few days ago.
He gives me advice on boys, I pressure him to tap on girls.
It's great.

Recently, he has picked up an odd hobby; shopping.
He can talk about shopping for hours. Clothes, cologne, carrots, you name it.
He rejected my request of going paint/furniture shopping 3 times, because of shopping.

I personally witnessed him not taking advantage of a drunk attractive girl at a party, who was all over him the whole night.

Anal bleaching + Shopaholic + Drunk Girl Rejector
This could only mean one thing; He has become a gay man.
Don't be offended now.

My soul-mate is gay and he told me that he loves me like a step-sister last week.

Good times.

Dolce n Gabbana, Hallo!?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Domestic Goddess Tendencies Revealed

Here I am, 21:28, still sitting at work.

I come across this that reconfirms that I am officially a domestic psycho.
Anthropologie came out with their new apron collection.

Check out these babies:

I love today. Thank you Lord.

ID01: Present from Him on His Birthday

It's the ex-boyfriend's birthday today.
I was feeling pretty awkward these past few days.
We've talked and chatted, being just "friends".
But do I buy him a bonsai tree?
Do I make his favourite lactose-free key lime pie?
Do I gather all of his friends up for a surprise party?
Okay, the last one I didn't really think about, it was solely for the effect of the blog entry.

I was doing so much contemplating, that I didn't leave myself any time to do the gift shopping or pie making.
Today is his birthday.
I come into work and surprisingly a package arrives; for me!
There is was, the USB one can mini fridge he promised me 2 days ago for passing my citizenship interview.
It came with a cute (silly) sticker note from him.

"You are no longer Chinese!!! Now, Chinese American...Boringggg.* Congrats on making the team, **NICKNAME**. (*If you failed your test, I get this thing back)"

The disclaimer is typical.

Maybe I should contemplate some more on what I should do for his birthday for next weekend?

I am proud about loving nuts.

I can eat nuts all day long, all night long, all weekend long.
Every time I express my love towards nuts, no surprises, I get smirks and weird looks.

They are rich in:
- Fiber
- Phytonutrients
- Antioxidans, such as selenium and Vitamin E
- Plant Sterols
- Good fats (omega 3)

I put nuts in my cookies, cakes, pies, stirfry(ies?), you name it!

Society has officially and permanently associated the word "nut" to the male testicle.
How is fair to the realm of nut lovers?
Imagine loving something and being embarrassed to announce it to the world!

I took it upon myself today to look for an alternative expression, which results in the nerdiest, possibly the dumbest conversation I've had today.

Me: What is the scientific name for nuts?
Hayygirlfriend: i dont know..buts?
Me: ....WHAT
Hayygirlfriend: HAHAHAHHAHA. TYPO.
Me: LOL. I was thinking about legumes.
Hayygirlfriend: thats vegetables and isnt that just french for veggies? lol.
Me: le gumes? i thought they were like beans and nuts and shit.
Me: I need another way to refer to nuts.
Me: peanut is actually NOT a nut. its a legume. almonds and shit are nuts.
Hayygirlfriend: what?!
Me: yeah, nuts are single seeded, legumes are multiple seeded.

There you have it. I have yet to find an alternative for nuts.
Until then, I'll call peanuts "brown delicious legumes".

Peace y'all.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

About Me

Dear All,
I am just a working wo-girl in her 20s trying to figure out her life. In the process, she will be writing about it on this web space.

& this will be her last time writing in third person.